The Fear of Loss (and the unexpected gifts)

The day my partner Susan passed away seemed like it lasted for several days.
My mind just wasn’t aware of “time” as we normally see it.

Later that day, I needed to go to the local health food store because my
refrigerator was almost bare. It had been over 30 days since I had a normal
meal at home because I had been visiting her in the hospital almost every
day in that that time span.

When I was checking out, the young clerk asked me those two basic
questions that most clerks ask:

“Did you find everything you need?”
and
“How’s your day going?”

The first question was easy to answer. The second one made me think,
“what do I say?” I chose to tell him. I said “This is probably the most
bittersweet day of my life. My wife passed away this morning”

The look on his face (and the woman who was bagging the groceries)
went from normal to shock in a matter of seconds. The young man said,
“I’m so sorry for your loss”.

I paused as I heard his words and looked into the woman’s eyes
who was helping and it hit me…

“It seems strange that almost everyone responds by saying that same
phrase “I’m so sorry for your loss”.

I said to both of them:
“You know what’s strange…? Our culture thinks that when someone crosses over,
that we’ve “lost” them. In other words that we’re “separate” from them. And
that feeling of separation creates a whirlwind of emotional ups and downs. Once
it starts it’s very difficult to pull out of.”

And then I said:
“The second thing is that we assume they were “ours”, like we had
“ownership” of them in some way.”

But what if neither belief is true?

The two people looked stunned – like they saw something they’ve never
seen before…

What if we’ve gotten all wrong? And our attachments to these Souls is
the cause of our suffering?

“Train yourself to let go of the things you fear losing most”
– Yoda

When I first heard Yoda’s quote from above, it completely changed the way
I saw life and death.

When you actually take the time to ask yourself:

“What do I fear losing most?”
and
“What if i began to train myself NOW to prepare me for its eventually
leaving my life”?

…you will shift your Soul’s vibration and evolution in ways beyond
your imagination. In other words, holding on to things or people
actually lowers your vibration and stunts your spiritual, emotional
and mental growth.

But letting go of those things and people actually allow your Soul
to evolve to a level that will astound you. You almost will not
recognize your old self when you’re free of the old self’s attachments.

As the great teacher, Pema Chodron shares:
“The ego hates the concept of death. Not just death of someone you care
for, but death of anything.”

Examples:
The ending of a job
The end of a relationship
The end of a creative cycle in our life
When our children become adults
The end of a friendship

Anything that represents the “end” of something is almost automatically
resisted by the ego.

The key is to look past the judgment of “loss” and tune into the gift of
the process. What if it isn’t loss at all?

What if you’re gaining something you never knew existed when
that chapter in your life comes to a close?

In other words, what’s the gift of that supposed “loss”?

Does that mean that when someone leaves your life that you shouldn’t grieve?
Of course not. We all have our own timing and meaning about the words grief
and loss. The key is to nurture your own self and to honor your own feelings and emotions.

The Buddhists believe that when a person dies they pass on to the next life and they celebrate that passing because they know they will see their loved one again.

Can you imagine how different things would be in our culture if we shifted
our belief from “loss” to blessing the Soul that passes? Knowing that that
Soul has a higher destiny…

And knowing they are not separate from us at all…

When we choose you have the courage to seek that gift,
new worlds of wonder, peace, insights and wisdom open
themselves to us.

It all depends on how you view life.

If you view it through the lens of loss or separation
then you will feel disconnected and the feeling of
heart ache.

But when you view it from the eyes of a child with curiosity and a sense of
wonder, the gifts you may uncover your will be of unexpected proportions.

So, today my friend, ask yourself:

“What am I holding on to that no longer serves me?”

and…
“How can I find the gift in this challenge that I’m facing today?”

And really allow yourself the time and space to feel your way through these
two questions.

…you may be pleasantly surprised

May you find peace in unexpected ways today my friend.


Blessings,

Paul Bauer

P.S. – Some people wanted the link to Susan’s Memorial Fund Site
Here’s the link


Finding The Gift In Everything

About 4 years ago, a major health crisis affected my partner Susan in ways we
could have never predicted. She was told she had 4th stage cancer.

For Susan, her world abruptly stopped. We had to put everything on hold and
focus on her recovery. What we learned during that journey was life-changing
to say the least.

The Real Lessons

From our perspective, it wasn’t really the cancer that was the issue.  It was
about what each of us feel on the inside about life itself. In other words, our
own personal connection to the life force and our desire to live (rather than
the fear of death).

I never believed in the cancer, nor did I see Susan as having a disease.
Whenever we saw “her CT scans (which showed a volleyball sized tumor) we never
gave the scans any power or belief.

We’re we initially concerned when she was diagnosed?

Yes, of course.  But after the initial shock, we stepped out of the “disease
model” and stepped into a simpler way of looking at what has become an epidemic.

Finding The Gift

The first major lesson was to find the gift.  Instead of focusing on the cancer
and its negative effects on her body, we looked for the deeper gifts of the disease, the daily events (going to the clinic, meeting new people, improvements
in her blood scores, etc)

And in less than 30 days, her blood scores improved dramatically and we knew
we were heading in the right direction.  Even though I wasn’t a fan of western medicine, and after we exhausted the alternative healing methods, Susan chose
to do chemotherapy, and we chose to find the gift in it.

Each day she had chemo, we would hold the chemo bag in our hands and bless
the bag with our deepest love and prayer.  Imagine the deepest love or
meditation you’ve ever experienced, and that’s the kind of intent we sent
into the chemo bags.

Occasionally, Susan would have a negative side effect and we would address it
with that same kind of love and intent.  Whenever WE encountered “bad” news,
we let go and let Divine intelligence guide us.  That letting go was the key
for both of us.  The more we let go of the “matrix” of cancer, chemo, etc,
the better things got for her and I.

There were days that I’d sit and look into Susan’s eyes or watch her speak
with fellow patients and doctors and I was in awe.  She transcended the cancer. She didn’t act like a “cancer patient” because she knew that if she did, herbody would reflect that intent. She chose a different path.

How interesting, one of the worst events that can happen in a person’s life actually held deeper gifts than we ever imagined. Simply incredible.

How To Deal With Fear

If there’s one thing that can weave havoc in your life, it’s fear.  When we
learned from one of the healers we worked with that when a person has a
fibroid or a tumor, it could be benign to start with, but once a person
hears a diagnosis of cancer, their mind often unconsciously shifts into
“fear mode” and creates what’s called a “nocebo” effect (the opposite of a placebo).

A nocebo effect is when you hear bad news and then give it negative meaning (power).

When the mind drops into a fear response, and it hears the word “tumor” or
“cancer” (even if there’s no active cancer) the brain kicks into fight or
flight syndrome and begins to send a cascade of negative hormones and
stressors that can often create cancer where there
was none to begin with.

That day was a turning point for both of us.  A tumor can be benign but
when subjected to the fear response can actually turn cancerous.  Just amazing.

Once you feel any fear about a piece of news (health, finances, loved one
or your own inner self talk) you actually encode life depleting energy into
your cells, tissues, organs, blood and energy system of your entire body.

Messenger of the Divine

But what if the “negative” news is actually a Divine message?  A message
from your Higher Self to awaken and expand?  What if the cancer epidemic
isn’t really what it seems?

What if it was a global wake up call? In other words a “Meta” event
to force ourselves to look at our lives differently ? (and evolve).

And when you make that kind of shift – of “seeing with new eyes” you begin
to see life more clearly.  Life takes on new meaning. What once bothered you
now begins to just make you smile or step back and go “wow that used to bother me, and now it really doesn’t even matter…”

The Lesson of Gratitude

Years ago, I remember Susan sharing the lesson of Gratitude with one of our
retreat groups in Hawaii or Sedona.  I recall asking her – “How
do you do that?”

How do you feel gratitude?  She shared with the group her “how”.  And
everyone in the group sat in wonder – like a group of kids at the zoo.

Little did I know that that simple shift of mindset would make such a
profound effect on our lives. Literally every event on her cancer journey
was sprinkled with Gratitude. And it affected me almost every day. We always
found something to be grateful for.

In my next post, I’ll share some of the major things we did that made the
biggest difference and why my company, DreamsAlive isn’t the same as it was
before Susan’s diagnosis. Literally everything changed that fateful day in
October of 2012 and in ways we could not have predicted.

Where we’re going is a new paradigm. A new paradigm of thought, feeling,
and Be-ing.

If you’re ready to let go of the limits of the “matrix” and rediscover new
levels of your Soul and why you’re here, you will love what’s in store…

See you soon…

Blessings,

Paul Bauer

P.S. – Susan is now in perfect health and is cancer free.  She now is sharing the lessons
she learned with cancer patients, caregivers and advocates.

But what she learned can also apply in all of our lives.

What gifts have your biggest challenges taught you?

Please share below.


The beauty of the moment


Have you ever experienced the perfect moment?

The kind of moment where times to stand still and you’re so present that
there’s no thoughts of the past and no concerns about the future.

It’s more than a concept – because it’s the real you. Simply Be-ing in
the moment
– no judgements of things, events, or people being bad or good.

No worries about the future.  No regrets about the past.

Just simply being here now – with an open mind and an open Heart.

We’re all capable of this sense of presence – because it’s part of our being.
It doesn’t take long hours of study or meditation. All it takes is a sincere desir
to be right here, right now in the moment.

And the mind lets go.

Your Heart opens and your connection to the Infinite strengthens and reveals
itself. Random thoughts and distractions come in and go out like waves on the
ocean. Issues that once troubled you simply dissolve like the sea foam on the
crest of the waves.

The more you let go, the more you feel the presence, the beauty of the moment.
The irony is you can’t get there through wanting it or desiring it.

The paradox is you can only get “there” by letting go.

Letting go of desire
Letting go of fear
Letting go of needing things to go your way
Letting go of your version of the way things should be

But the mind often steps in and says things like:

“If I let go, nothing will happen…”
or
“I’m afraid of letting go, because I’ll lose control”

But the opposite is true. The more you hold on they to control the flow, the
more it slips through your fingers. The more you let go, the more you become
present and allow higher forces to assist you.  In other words, it gets easier the
more you let go.

Solving the dilemma of the “Restless Mind” seems complex…

But it isn’t.

That’s the mind judging something it just doesn’t understand
(and is often afraid of).

It’s as simple as making a decision.

A decision to make things simpler. A decision to return home again.

…home to the real you.

As you breathe deeply now, behold the beauty of this moment with innocence,
wonder and love. Like a child watching the clouds move across the sky.

That is where you’ll find your beauty – right here, right now.

Blessings,

Paul Bauer

P.S. One way to be present is to get in touch with your breathing.
Just listen to your breath as you breathe in and out…

As you do, you will begin to feel the Presence…

How will you choose to be present today?
Please share your comment below…


The Real Keys to Your 2015 Breakthroughs

It’s that time again when we all “re-set” our “internal” time clocks.
The time of year when we look ahead to the New Year.

How will 2015 be different for you?

What will be the catalysts that make the shifts that you want most?

Here’s a quick method to making the shifts you want (and how to find the
catalysts that make them almost automatic)

Take out a pen and paper and write down these questions:

1. At first it may seem counter-intuitive, but the first step is to “look back”.
Look back to 2014 and notice how it went.  Did it go the way you wanted?  What
things did you learn?  What did 2014 teach you about yourself?

The secrets of making 2015 your best year is to look back to 2014 first – then you’ll
begin to “connect the dots”.

Where did you stumble?
Where did you advance?
What did it teach you?

(This is one of the key secrets of your personal evolution – because
if you really look deeply into yourself, you will find some of the best
lessons you learned came from setbacks, obstacles, challenges or
even losses.)

And there’s one of the most vital keys to your personal happiness – the ability to
see the gift in these setbacks rather than judging them as “bad” events.

So, write down the above questions and answers. Take your time with is step and you
may be pleasantly surprised what you will discover.

2. After you’ve written down answers to #1, the next step is to be in the
present moment.
It’s just the very beginning on 2015.

How do you want it to start?

In joy and gratitude?
Wanting and regret?
Clarity and harmony?

Your answer is the the key to making 2015 something you’ll either look back in
2016 and say “Wow!” or “there goes  another year that flew by, and what did
I really accomplish?”

Write out a little description of your perfect year.

The projects
The people you’ll meet
The challenges you’ll overcome
The breakthroughs you’ll make

… And any other cool things you’d LOVE to experience.

3. Now, take time and breathe slowly…

Imagine it’s just after Christmas 2015.

Just before New Year’s parties and celebrations.

What do you want to celebrate from 2015?

What are you grateful for?
What love did you share?
How did you live to your fullest?
What did you let go of that allowed the shifts to happen?

This is your time.  Sacred.  Special. Filled with wonder and delight.
Feel the feelings of laughter and gratitude and connecting with
people you love and enjoy.

Now that’s a pretty cool way to celebrate 2015 – and to think…

It’s all in front of you…

What new choices will you make?

And how will you celebrate each moment and savor life – one moment at a time?

Blessings of wonder and awe,

Aloha,

Paul Bauer
www.dreamsalive.com

P.S. – How will 2015 be different for you?  What new shifts will you make?

Would love your comments below…

: – )


Your own little tropical island

Thought you might enjoy this video…

It’s like taking your own little trip to a tropical island
(and many of us in the northern hemisphere could use a bit of this right now    : – )

[youtube Y_stBb8IoSU]

Stay warm and cozy   : – )

Peace,

Paul

The 3 Biggest Manifesting Challenges

If you’ve ever felt frustrated in trying to manifest what you want, you’re
not alone.   Every one of us faces obstacles and blocks before what we
want actually “shows up”.

Lets review the main challenges we all face when it comes to manifesting
(and what you can do about each one of them).

(Each of these challenges are little lessons that can teach us valuable
insights about ourselves.**)

The 3 Biggest Challenges


1. When is what I want going to manifest?


This is the classic one.  Our minds have been trained in a “get it now” kind
of reality.

Since we were very young, we often got instant gratification for many of our
core needs.  And depending on how our parents or caregivers responded to
our needs, we learned an unconscious pattern of wanting/getting that
reinforced the behavior that we felt at that young age.

Some of that behavior was appropriate then, but may no longer serve
you any longer as an adult. It takes a bit of discipline and letting go to
detach from old emotions and patterns so you can be fully present
and make new choices that help you evolve and grow.

An old proverb says:

“There is a season for everything”

It may be frustrating for the mind to admit, but the universe doesn’t
always bend to our will. But, when you set your Heart and mind to
creating what you want, and you follow that intent with love and
passion, it WILL manifest – in its own time.

We all plant many seeds, but the KEY is to nurture those seeds with
proper love and nutrients.

One of my mentors once told me:

“Whatever you set your Heart to, is already on its way…”

So, its really already here – but the mind can’t see it yet.

The key is letting go of the “when” and staying in touch with the essence
of already having it. In other words the deep faith, the *knowing* that’s
its real right now – and all that’s really required is to “see with new eyes”
as Blake once wrote.

The next biggest manifesting challenge…

2. Thinking that getting what you want will
make the pain of “not having it” go away

This one’s a bit hidden from our conscious awareness. But if you can delve
deeper than just needing something and shift to being ok whether it shows
up or not, you’re accessing  a level of mastery that few humans ever reach.

Most get stuck at the “I feel pain/I need relief” level and never understand
the essence of creation itself.

But when you shift your intent from “needing something to show up” to
being able to let go of having it, you activate a higher intelligence within
you.

This intelligence then becomes your core guide and is there to help you
in literally any situation in your life. The gifts this connection will bring
you are greater than all the “getting” or “having” will ever give you.

The faith and knowing that what you want is already manifested (and
the patience that it takes to “wait” for it to “show up”) is the key.

Here’s a couple questions to help you in this 2nd major
manifesting challenge:

Is my Heart really in this?

Do I love this path?

What would I love to create most?

Ponder these whenever you face obstacles and breathe into each
of them as you listen and feel for the answer…

Here’s the 3rd challenge…

3. Am I doing something wrong?

If you ever hear or sense this message, you KNOW it’s the ego trying to pull
you off your path.  Thinking you’re doing something “wrong” prevents you
from seeing the truth in your life.

Disappointment, fear, anger, envy are some of the feelings you may feel
when what you want hasn’t shown up yet.

But each of these emotions are hiding the real issue.

Judgment

Yes – the real cause of frustration or feeling stuck is judgment.  And it’s
ourselves who we’re really judging.

Maybe you’re not doing anything “wrong”.  Maybe your Higher Self is
guiding you to a simpler way of being.

And “having” then is easy – when you are already be-ing.

Make sense?

If you think of the things you want most, why do you want them?

In other words, what if you already had them already?

How would you feel?

Isn’t that what you really want?

The feeling?

Manifesting gets easier when we step out of the way and let go.
Take time each day my friend to check in with your Heart and
your Higher Self – and let yourself manifest from your Heart.

And So It Is…

Watch for my next message on manifesting…

Until then,

Blessings of Abundance to you,

Paul Bauer

P.S. – Would love your comments below…

: – )

Becoming The Observer

If you ever find yourself challenged or stressed by something in your
life, the mind often steps in and tried to fix the issue.  But that’s where
the problem really begins.

Instead of stepping back and just observing the issue, the mind (based on
habitual patterns) wants to take charge and often causes more problems
(and stress) than originally existed.

Then, the “vicious cycle” begins…

1. The problem “shows up”

2. Stress kicks in (based on memory rather than what
actually is occurring)

3. The desire to “fix it” turns on in the mind

4. Effort is expended to do the “fixing”

5. More stress is created

Over and over…

Until…

Until we become present and step back into the Now (with no judgement or analysis).

You might be saying – “easier said than done Paul!”

But when you practice being present with the “little things”, you develop the skill to
handle the big ones with grace and ease.  And the gift you experience is a feeling of
Presence; a calm sense of being the observer of your thoughts and feelings.

Because when you do, the mind relaxes and lets go, and lets the Presence give you
perspective and and objective perspective.

How To Become The Observer

Here’s the simple formula to become the observer and step back from virtually
any problem or challenge you ever face (no matter how intense) and still feel
peace and inner calm.

If you ever encounter a problem or anything that begins to cause stress in
your life simply:

1. Notice how you feel –  and breathe in slowly and deeply

2. Get a sense of the feeling (where it’s located in your body)

3. Breathe into the feeling and let go

4. Just notice the feeling – with no judgment

5. Continue breathing into the feeling until you feel a shift
– when the observer within you awakens and you sense a difference.

It might be the feeling lightens up, or that you get a sense of clarity or inner peace.
The real key is to become “the one who notices” and step out of the
“problem mindset”.

This single shift of awareness is enough to feel connected, whole and at peace.

Peace to you my friend,

Paul Bauer

If this article was helpful, please feel free to leave a comment below:

The Hidden Level of Clarity


Today, we’ll discuss the concept of clarity in a different light.

In essence, there are two kinds of clarity. One of the mind and one of the Heart.
The key is to understand the difference between the two and know which one
serves you the most.

The two kinds of clarity are:

1) Clarity from the mind

When your mind isn’t clear, you feel anxious or unsettled.  Some people
even feel a little foggy or frustrated.

But when you take time to tune-in, breathe and begin to relax, the mind begins to
settle down. Most people then begin to feel like they can breathe easier and their
stress levels drop.

Some even meditate – knowing that there’s still more clarity they can feel.

At this point, most people are pretty satisfied. But many people discover that
clarity of the mind is short lived – it tends to run out faster than we’d like.

But there is another kind of clarity…

One that unifies the mind with the body in ways beyond the mind’s ability to
understand.

2) Clarity from the Heart

The second kind of clarity comes from the Heart. Not the physical organ, but the
spiritual/energetic Heart.  In other words, your connection to God and the Infinite.

This connection is far deeper than the mind can imagine and gives you a much
deeper sense of connection and inner peace.

The key difference between clarity from the mind and clarity from the Heart is
when the mind steps in, the possibility for doubt, fear and confusion increases.

But the Heart speaks a completely different language.  While the mind runs on
patterns and memory, the Heart has no limits and has access to the wisdom of
the Infinite.

It knows only peace and Love.

Let’s say you meditate for 20-30 minutes in the morning.  If you feel stressed as
little as an hour or two later, then any clarity you may have experienced came
from the mind.

But Heart based clarity gives you inner peace that lasts well beyond any meditation
session because it connects you with the energy of Creation itself.

This feeling is almost indescribable because it’s beyond language – and yet we can
feel it palpably because it’s real
.  In fact it’s our true reality and not the illusion
that the mind often projects as “being reality”.

And that kind of clarity increases your energy,awareness and effectiveness in all parts
of your life.

When you really understand the difference between the two, you’re on a completely
different wavelength and life becomes a joyous adventure to learn from.

Whether it be highs, lows or anywhere in between, when your clarity comes from
your Heart, life becomes a child-like playground of wonder, awe and fun…

Here’s the cool thing about Heart based clarity.

You still get the gifts of the mind, but you get the best of both worlds and it’s
simpler to navigate the complexities of life because your Heart and mind
are in alignment.

Now that’s a life worth living…

Stay tuned for our next Clarity update and news about the new Clear-Mind
Clarity Module.

Until then,

May your Heart guide you,

Paul Bauer and the team at Dreams Alive

See part 1 – The Clarity Paradox

The Clarity Paradox


Whenever we begin something new – whether it be a new day, a
new thought, or a new project, it helps to begin with clarity of thought
and intent.

This kind of clarity inspires you, enlivens you and rejuvenates your energy.

What is Clarity?

Clarity essentially is the state of being clear.
The opposite state would be haziness or confusion.

Real clarity gives you focus, direction and a feeling of centeredness.

With all the distractions we face every day (internet, TV, cell phones, noise,
EMF, etc) on top of all our daily responsibilities, it’s a wonder we ever find time
to feel any real clarity.

So how do you get clarity?

The paradox of having clarity is that it takes some kind of clarity to get you there.
But the mind is often so filled with stray thoughts, it’s hard to even begin with a clear
focus or direction.

If you want 2013 to be different (not just a “little change”, but to have *real
breakthroughs* in your career, your relationships, your finances
and most importantly how you feel) – then you need a catalyst to get you there.

By catalyst, I mean a new source of wisdom that gives you such incredible
clarity, you’ll be amazed at the new thoughts, insights and results you’ll have
when you’re there.

Imagine what that would feel like…

In the next couple days, I’ll be sharing a few more insights about the power of
clarity as well as news about the upcoming Clear-Mind Clarity Module.

Until then,

May 2013 be your best year ever,

Paul Bauer and the team at Dreams Alive

See Part II – The Hidden Level of Clarity

A Passing of a Visionary

We just heard that Dr. David Hawkins – visionary and
author of the breakthrough book Power vs. Force died
peacefully at home in Sedona, Arizona, on September
19, 2012, at the age of 85.

He was born on June 3, 1927, in Milwaukee, Wisconsin;
he had been a resident of Sedona since 1979.

David was an amazing man and his work helped people
across the world.  He pioneered a process of muscle
testing together with a map of consciousness to help
people discover the fundamental nature of emotional,
mental, spiritual, physical and karmic dis-ease.

7 years ago, his work became a vital part of our lives.
We are grateful to Dr. Hawkins for his incredible
contributions to the field of consciousness research.

We send blessings to his family as well as his many
friends and students who experienced his work.

David – you will be missed…

Paul Bauer and the team at Dreams Alive