About 4 years ago, a major health crisis affected my partner Susan in ways we could have
never predicted. She was told she had 4th stage cancer.
For Susan, her world abruptly stopped. We had to put everything on hold and focus on
her recovery. What we learned during that journey was life-changing to say the least.
The Real Lessons
From our perspective, it wasn’t really the cancer that was the issue. It was about what
each of us feel on the inside about life itself. In other words, our own personal connection
to the life force and our desire to live (rather than the fear of death).
I never believed in the cancer, nor did I see Susan as having a disease. Whenever we saw
“her CT scans (which showed a volleyball sized tumor) we never gave the scans any power
We’re we initially concerned when she was diagnosed?
Yes, of course. But after the initial shock, we stepped out of the “disease model” and stepped
into a simpler way of looking at what has become an epidemic.
Finding The Gift
The first major lesson was to find the gift. Instead of focusing on the cancer and its negative
effects on her body, we looked for the deeper gifts of the disease, the daily events (going to
the clinic, meeting new people, improvements in her blood scores, etc)
And in less than 30 days, her blood scores improved dramatically and we knew we were heading
in the right direction. Even though I wasn’t a fan of western medicine, and after we exhausted
the alternative healing methods, Susan chose to do chemotherapy, and we chose to find the gift in it.
Each day she had chemo, we would hold the chemo bag in our hands and bless the bag with our
deepest love and prayer. Imagine the deepest love or meditation you’ve ever experienced, and
that’s the kind of intent we sent into the chemo bags.
Occasionally, Susan would have a negative side effect and we would address it with that
same kind of love and intent. Whenever WE encountered “bad” news, we let go and let
Divine intelligence guide us. That letting go was the key for both of us. The more we let
go of the “matrix” of cancer, chemo, etc, the better things got for her and I.
There were days that I’d sit and look into Susan’s eyes or watch her speak with fellow
patients and doctors and I was in awe. She transcended the cancer. She didn’t act
like a “cancer patient” because she knew that if she did, her body would reflect that
intent. She chose a different path.
How interesting, one of the worst events that can happen in a person’s life actually held
deeper gifts than we ever imagined. Simply incredible.
How To Deal With Fear
If there’s one thing that can weave havoc in your life, it’s fear. When we learned from one
of the healers we worked with that when a person has a fibroid or a tumor, it could be benign
to start with, but once a person hears a diagnosis of cancer, their mind often unconsciously
shifts into “fear mode” and creates what’s called a “nocebo” effect (the opposite of a placebo).
A nocebo effect is when you hear bad news and then give it negative meaning (power).
When the mind drops into a fear response, and it hears the word “tumor” or “cancer”
(even if there’s no active cancer) the brain kicks into fight or flight syndrome and begins to
send a cascade of negative hormones and stressors that can often create cancer where there
was none to begin with.
That day was a turning point for both of us. A tumor can be benign but when subjected to
the fear response can actually turn cancerous. Just amazing.
Once you feel any fear about a piece of news (health, finances, loved one, or your own
inner self talk) you actually encode life depleting energy into your cells, tissues, organs,
blood and energy system of your entire body.
Messenger of the Divine
But what if the “negative” news is actually a Divine message? A message from your Higher
Self to awaken and expand? What if the cancer epidemic isn’t really what it seems?
What if it was a global wake up call? In other words a “Meta” event to force ourselves to
look at our lives differently ? (and evolve).
And when you make that kind of shift – of “seeing with new eyes” you begin to see life more
clearly. Life takes on new meaning. What once bothered you now begins to just make you
smile or step back and go “wow that used to bother me, and now it really doesn’t even matter…”
The Lesson of Gratitude
Years ago, I remember Susan sharing the lesson of Gratitude with one of our retreat groups
in Hawaii or Sedona. I recall asking her – “How do you do that?”
How do you feel gratitude? She shared with the group her “how”. And everyone in the group
sat in wonder – like a group of kids at the zoo.
Little did I know that that simple shift of mindset would make such a profound effect on
our lives. Literally every event on her cancer journey was sprinkled with Gratitude.
And it affected me almost every day. We always found something to be grateful for.
In my next post, I’ll share some of the major things we did that made the biggest difference
and why my company, DreamsAlive isn’t the same as it was before Susan’s diagnosis.
Literally everything changed that fateful day in October of 2012 and in ways we could
not have predicted.
Where we’re going is a new paradigm. A new paradigm of thought, feeling, and Be-ing.
If you’re ready to let go of the limits of the “matrix” and rediscover new levels of your Soul
and why you’re here, you will love what’s in store…
See you soon…
P.S. – Susan is now in perfect health and is cancer free. She now is sharing the lessons
she learned with cancer patients, caregivers and advocates.
But what she learned can also apply in all of our lives.
What gifts have your biggest challenges taught you?
Please share below.