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Becoming The Observer

If you ever find yourself challenged or stressed by something in your
life, the mind often steps in and tried to fix the issue.  But that’s where
the problem really begins.

Instead of stepping back and just observing the issue, the mind (based on
habitual patterns) wants to take charge and often causes more problems
(and stress) than originally existed.

Then, the “vicious cycle” begins…

1. The problem “shows up”

2. Stress kicks in (based on memory rather than what
actually is occurring)

3. The desire to “fix it” turns on in the mind

4. Effort is expended to do the “fixing”

5. More stress is created

Over and over…


Until we become present and step back into the Now (with no judgement or analysis).

You might be saying – “easier said than done Paul!”

But when you practice being present with the “little things”, you develop the skill to
handle the big ones with grace and ease.  And the gift you experience is a feeling of
Presence; a calm sense of being the observer of your thoughts and feelings.

Because when you do, the mind relaxes and lets go, and lets the Presence give you
perspective and and objective perspective.

How To Become The Observer

Here’s the simple formula to become the observer and step back from virtually
any problem or challenge you ever face (no matter how intense) and still feel
peace and inner calm.

If you ever encounter a problem or anything that begins to cause stress in
your life simply:

1. Notice how you feel -  and breathe in slowly and deeply

2. Get a sense of the feeling (where it’s located in your body)

3. Breathe into the feeling and let go

4. Just notice the feeling – with no judgment

5. Continue breathing into the feeling until you feel a shift
– when the observer within you awakens and you sense a difference.

It might be the feeling lightens up, or that you get a sense of clarity or inner peace.
The real key is to become “the one who notices” and step out of the
“problem mindset”.

This single shift of awareness is enough to feel connected, whole and at peace.

Peace to you my friend,

Paul Bauer

If this article was helpful, please feel free to leave a comment below:

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  1. 22 Comment(s)

  2. By Elsamay on Aug 1, 2013 | Reply

    It was very helpful. A friend pushed my button yesterday and I let her have it. She has been making judements about me for a while and I breathed into it but yesterday I was in a different place – revist the old self and I knew I shocked her by my outburst. All night and even now I spend replaying what went on and trying to justify my behaviour. So this is helping me to let go of that recurring tape. Thanks

  3. By Deborah on Aug 1, 2013 | Reply

    thank you very much – I have been taking walks and releasing it:) so glad to be alive, hope you have a fabulous day.

  4. By Rosa Muziotti on Aug 1, 2013 | Reply

    It is interesting that becoming present and step back into the Now is more effective than worrying about something and trying to fix it

  5. By Nancy on Aug 1, 2013 | Reply

    Thanks for the reminder. It’s too easy to forget. It’s such freedom if you just sit back and observe!

    Nancy G.

  6. By Nanda Kumar on Aug 1, 2013 | Reply

    This works Paul. I keep doing this often. It handles real stress easily.

  7. By Ann on Aug 1, 2013 | Reply

    Great technique! Being in the present/NOW is always the best solution to everything! Our minds LOVE to try and protect us by worrying about the future and feeling guilty about the past WAY TOO MUCH!

    You might want to look into The Enneagram… based on the 9 sided geometric figure there are 9 personality/behavorial types… #5 IS THE OBSERVER! (I recommend starting with: ‘The Enneagram Made Easy’). Really interesting stuff!

  8. By Allen Warren on Aug 1, 2013 | Reply

    It’s like Tolle says; don’t let it become a story in your head, just feel and observe the feeling. Thanks for breaking it down into steps, Paul.

  9. By Sam on Aug 1, 2013 | Reply

    Thanks for reminding me that I must be present!! It is so easy to drift off and you are right, then the mind takes over.

  10. By Will Seifert-Kessell on Aug 1, 2013 | Reply

    I’ve used this technique, and you’re right, it does bring me back into the present moment. Once there, it’s a lot easier to remember that what’s going on is not as bad as our memory of other events makes it seem to be. Thanks for reminding us of how much we need to live in the NOW!

  11. By Cath on Aug 1, 2013 | Reply

    Connecting with the breath and the body is so very important. Thanks so much for reminding us to hold this focus and allow space and time for the intuitive wisdom to speak to us.

  12. By marac on Aug 1, 2013 | Reply

    Hi mr bouwer @ the moment I’m in a lot of stress butt yesterday I made a mind shift and said to my self I don’t need the alcohol and drugs to make me feel great about myself I’m gonna create the same feeling whit in me. Whitout all of that and it worked now I’m reading this and it looks like it really was written special to me I’m gonna use this method because it’s really looking to make sense

  13. By Maarit on Aug 1, 2013 | Reply

    Thank you so much! This was just What I needed. The love of my life (I thought) left me for two months ago. I will definetly do this. maybe I’ll get over this heartache sooner than I think 🙂

  14. By MariaNona on Aug 1, 2013 | Reply

    Thank you, Paul

    This is indeed such an elegant way to get back to calm and peace.
    So far, I do become the Observer, but only too late..
    But with your technique in mind, I’m sure the Observer WILL awaken earlier..

    Much Gratitude,

    MariaNona in Vancouver

  15. By Gail on Aug 1, 2013 | Reply

    I really like this post. Its based in reality. And you said it simply and clearly. Thank you for your contribution. The ego habitually wants to control, judge and manipulate. But it is not the path to happiness or peace. It isn’t even the path to more effective action. Because when the mind is clouded with negativity and stressful responses then our deep innate wisdom is present but generally inaccessible. Its pretty hard to take effective action from such a state— better to first observe, release and come back to peace. Then miracles really can happen.

  16. By Dean on Aug 1, 2013 | Reply

    I work in a highly stressful environment that attracts customers who are often extremely elitist or highly agitated. My next to last customer today actually was attempting to create a problem that did not exist – except in her own mind. Many of the words she expressed to me would have previously been met with a not so professional response…not today. I found that by simply staying present and simply listening while focusing on my breath I felt her attitude but would not allow myself to become agitated. Keeping the intent positive and not allowing myself to be “sucked in” to the agitation may not have pleased the customer because they didn’t get what they thought they needed however, I stayed calm and extremely pleasant. This allowed me to move on and not drag the garbage along with me. Thank you for this wonderful message.

  17. By Pauline on Aug 1, 2013 | Reply

    Very well said Cath. Thank You!

  18. By Sreenarayanan on Aug 1, 2013 | Reply

    Hope, this is mindful meditation and it is an effective technique.

  19. By Carla Hamilton on Aug 2, 2013 | Reply

    Thanks Paul that was absolutely what I needed to hear.

  20. By Ssyhankar on Aug 2, 2013 | Reply

    Yes Paul, This is the Universal solution for all problems we face. Often we are bogged down by the problem when we loose awareness of who we really are.

  21. By jessica on Aug 5, 2013 | Reply

    All I can say, without words, is .. 🙂 + ♥ …

  22. By laura on Nov 16, 2014 | Reply

    I really appreciate your delivery Paul. It feels so caring and sincere…and you break down and simplify this stuff wonderfully! THANK YOU

  23. By Bonnie on Jan 11, 2015 | Reply

    Thanks, Paul. You make everything so simple and easy. Much easier than reading Eckhart Tolle. 🙂

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