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Finding The Gift In Everything

About 4 years ago, a major health crisis affected my partner Susan in ways we
could have never predicted. She was told she had 4th stage cancer.

For Susan, her world abruptly stopped. We had to put everything on hold and
focus on her recovery. What we learned during that journey was life-changing
to say the least.

The Real Lessons

From our perspective, it wasn’t really the cancer that was the issue.  It was
about what each of us feel on the inside about life itself. In other words, our
own personal connection to the life force and our desire to live (rather than
the fear of death).

I never believed in the cancer, nor did I see Susan as having a disease.
Whenever we saw “her CT scans (which showed a volleyball sized tumor) we never
gave the scans any power or belief.

We’re we initially concerned when she was diagnosed?

Yes, of course.  But after the initial shock, we stepped out of the “disease
model” and stepped into a simpler way of looking at what has become an epidemic.

Finding The Gift

The first major lesson was to find the gift.  Instead of focusing on the cancer
and its negative effects on her body, we looked for the deeper gifts of the disease, the daily events (going to the clinic, meeting new people, improvements
in her blood scores, etc)

And in less than 30 days, her blood scores improved dramatically and we knew
we were heading in the right direction.  Even though I wasn’t a fan of western medicine, and after we exhausted the alternative healing methods, Susan chose
to do chemotherapy, and we chose to find the gift in it.

Each day she had chemo, we would hold the chemo bag in our hands and bless
the bag with our deepest love and prayer.  Imagine the deepest love or
meditation you’ve ever experienced, and that’s the kind of intent we sent
into the chemo bags.

Occasionally, Susan would have a negative side effect and we would address it
with that same kind of love and intent.  Whenever WE encountered “bad” news,
we let go and let Divine intelligence guide us.  That letting go was the key
for both of us.  The more we let go of the “matrix” of cancer, chemo, etc,
the better things got for her and I.

There were days that I’d sit and look into Susan’s eyes or watch her speak
with fellow patients and doctors and I was in awe.  She transcended the cancer. She didn’t act like a “cancer patient” because she knew that if she did, herbody would reflect that intent. She chose a different path.

How interesting, one of the worst events that can happen in a person’s life actually held deeper gifts than we ever imagined. Simply incredible.

How To Deal With Fear

If there’s one thing that can weave havoc in your life, it’s fear.  When we
learned from one of the healers we worked with that when a person has a
fibroid or a tumor, it could be benign to start with, but once a person
hears a diagnosis of cancer, their mind often unconsciously shifts into
“fear mode” and creates what’s called a “nocebo” effect (the opposite of a placebo).

A nocebo effect is when you hear bad news and then give it negative meaning (power).

When the mind drops into a fear response, and it hears the word “tumor” or
“cancer” (even if there’s no active cancer) the brain kicks into fight or
flight syndrome and begins to send a cascade of negative hormones and
stressors that can often create cancer where there
was none to begin with.

That day was a turning point for both of us.  A tumor can be benign but
when subjected to the fear response can actually turn cancerous.  Just amazing.

Once you feel any fear about a piece of news (health, finances, loved one
or your own inner self talk) you actually encode life depleting energy into
your cells, tissues, organs, blood and energy system of your entire body.

Messenger of the Divine

But what if the “negative” news is actually a Divine message?  A message
from your Higher Self to awaken and expand?  What if the cancer epidemic
isn’t really what it seems?

What if it was a global wake up call? In other words a “Meta” event
to force ourselves to look at our lives differently ? (and evolve).

And when you make that kind of shift – of “seeing with new eyes” you begin
to see life more clearly.  Life takes on new meaning. What once bothered you
now begins to just make you smile or step back and go “wow that used to bother me, and now it really doesn’t even matter…”

The Lesson of Gratitude

Years ago, I remember Susan sharing the lesson of Gratitude with one of our
retreat groups in Hawaii or Sedona.  I recall asking her – “How
do you do that?”

How do you feel gratitude?  She shared with the group her “how”.  And
everyone in the group sat in wonder – like a group of kids at the zoo.

Little did I know that that simple shift of mindset would make such a
profound effect on our lives. Literally every event on her cancer journey
was sprinkled with Gratitude. And it affected me almost every day. We always
found something to be grateful for.

In my next post, I’ll share some of the major things we did that made the
biggest difference and why my company, DreamsAlive isn’t the same as it was
before Susan’s diagnosis. Literally everything changed that fateful day in
October of 2012 and in ways we could not have predicted.

Where we’re going is a new paradigm. A new paradigm of thought, feeling,
and Be-ing.

If you’re ready to let go of the limits of the “matrix” and rediscover new
levels of your Soul and why you’re here, you will love what’s in store…

See you soon…


Paul Bauer

P.S. – Susan is now in perfect health and is cancer free.  She now is sharing the lessons
she learned with cancer patients, caregivers and advocates.

But what she learned can also apply in all of our lives.

What gifts have your biggest challenges taught you?

Please share below.

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  1. 6 Comment(s)

  2. By Tom Sanchez on Jul 24, 2016 | Reply


    Thank you for your article. I.especially, am grateful for the paragraphs you wrote about fear and gratitude. I’m glad Susan is healthy and can teach others about how she viewed her cancer and the life lessons it taught her and you.

    Thank you!

  3. By Patrick on Jul 24, 2016 | Reply

    I used to be an active alcoholic and drug addict before becoming sober 26-years ago. Looking back at that time in my life, I realize that I would not have become the strong minded and, more importantly, open hearted person that I am today, had it not been for that situation. Becoming sober reintroduced me to the God of my own understanding, which pays dividends in my life each and every day, even on those days that I may not actually recognize it. Having been an active alcoholic and drug addict turned out to be one of the greatest gifts in my life.

  4. By Daniel on Jul 24, 2016 | Reply

    So much happy to the Divine Majesty for Susan’s healing. I recall entering into high school was a major challenge due to finances because of poor family background. Do school by then offers full scholarship to students who place 1st to 3rd after last (3rd) term of every class exam. Prior to the 3rd year’s last (3rd) term exams, I persistently prayed to God to be among the 1st 3 students so I can also benefit from full scholarship throughout the 4th year. I didn’t look at by bad results for the 1st, 2nd years and 2nd term of the 3rd year, but rather to study very hard and focus on the present. Lo and behold, I placed 3rd in the exams during the last term of the 3rd year thereby enjoying full scholarship throughout the 4th year in school. It worth it and we mostly get breakthroughs when we don’t fix our minds on what has become deficient in our lives

  5. By Dana on Jul 24, 2016 | Reply

    I will be 71 in October, and for the last year have been experiencing great loss and unrelenting grief…and even before that many other challenging, similar experiences over the years. I’m not a dunce, but I’ve yet to figure anything out. None of it makes any kind of sense to me, I haven’t found just exactly what I’m supposed to have gleaned from it all…except much dismay and pain. ‘Tis all a puzzlement to me.
    I’m happy Susan is healthy again, she is a very sweet person and deserves the best life has to offer.

  6. By Juli on Jul 25, 2016 | Reply

    Paul and Susan,
    Thank you for this article. I’m so happy for you both. I’ve been following you on and off for several years and am so glad to know all is well with Susan. I, like Dana am experiencing a time in my life where I am finding it hard to find the gifts. I turned 60 in January and since then my life seems to be falling apart. I am struggling more than I ever have financially and am feeling the fear of what will happen to me, how I will survive and how I will hold up under what feels like extreme stress. After reading your article I tearfully asked “Please help me to see the gift in all of this” I truly want to know.

  7. By Dorothy Ramirez on Jul 27, 2016 | Reply

    My 42 yr. old (Mike)son has lung cancer and we are going through a lot right now. This article was a blessing. Thank you.

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