People ask me often, "Paul,
is goal setting the best way to get what I want in life"?
There are many methods that you can use to create a happy and
fulfilling life. Over the years, "experts" have popped
up that have been extolling the virtues of "go for your
goals!" Well... there's a small problem that has popped
up for many people...
The Addiction To Goal Setting
People have become addicted to "getting more" because
the "go for your goals" hype has gotten them dis-connected
from who they really are.
Well intentioned business owners have set their goals
to grow their business and forgotten their own families.
Aspiring writers have set their goals to become "best sellers"
and forgotten the passion of why they wanted to write
in the first place.
Politicians have set goals to become famous and powerful... and
forgotten the very people who voted them into office.
There's an old Hopi Indian phrase called Koyaanisqatsi.
Koyaanisqatsi means life out of balance. When we get to
attached to "wanting" something, (like most goal setting
programs teach), the aspiring goal setter ends up fixating on
"wanting more" to cure the pain of "not
having" that all humans eventually feel.
Why does Goal setting cause
so many problems for so many people?
Goal setting can be easily
mis-understood and if not used correctly, can cause stress, burn-out
and SDD (Spiritual Deficit Disorder). Spiritual Deficit Disorder
occurs when a person gets so caught up "chasing" what
they want that they forget the very things that are most important
to them - their health, their family, their Dreams.
Am I saying that you shouldn't
set goals? No.
What I'm saying is to not over-rely on goals for their own sake.
The Myth of Goal Setting
Dozens of motivational speakers over the years needed a strategy
that "sold" their lectures, books and tapes. Instead
of helping people with just "feel good" fluff (decidedly
a non-"male" energy), they decided to focus-in on man's
insatiable need of "wanting more - getting more".
In came goal setting...
The Problems Goal Setting Causes...
Because goals come from the
left brain (analytical, linear), many people begin their quest
for happiness with only half of their real power. Instead
of asking from their Heart, most people create their personal
goals from their left brain - which causes more problems than
it solves. Your Dreams (your Life's Dreams) on the other
hand come from your Heart.
When people first learn about
goal setting, they see it as a mechanism to help them get more
of what they want. In time, the more goals they set, many people
begin to unconsciously experience a "plateau" and so
they try harderto rech these goals. The more they push, the more
Many well intentioned goal-achievers
end up avoiding the pain of moving through their day to day (emotional)
issues. Now - just so you don't think I'm bashing setting goals
of any kind, hear me out. Goals are fine, but most people set
goals to avoid pain.
Yes, you read right, most people
set goals to avoid pain.
And remember the age old wisdom
- whatever you resist, persists.
The solution? Learn to tune-in to (and trust) your intuition
- your Heart (which is far more powerful and wise than the brain
- (for more info see Dr. Paul Pearsall's "The Heart's
Code" book and Susan Castle's Heart
We're now at a crucial crossroads in our civilization. Do we
continue at the frenetic pace we've created? (sprawling cities,
toxic waste, government and corporate corruption, abuse of our
children (think Columbine and other school tragedies) or do we
stop and say "ENOUGH!".
Enough of over-striving for the "brass-ring" and the
"American Dream". It's time to take deep breath and s
- l - o - w down. Time to re-connect with your
passions, your purpose and your Life's Dreams.
Goal Setting Issues
Goal setting can cause an imbalance in your life energy. Most
goal setting programs cause a person to try too hard in getting
the goal - instead of enjoying the process.
In my own life, after I first learned goal setting, I achieved
several of my "big goals". I got a new car, I bought
new house and my income rose over $20,000. So I thought, "gee
this goal setting stuff works, how 'bout we double my goals!"
What I was unknowingly doing at that point was buying into
the "get more feel better trap" that so many
people fall into. Yes, I doubled my goals and reached
them, but then I forgot why I had even set them in the first
place. More money - Why? Better house - Why?
Then the "wheels fell off"... after 2-3
years of hitting my goals, I forgot to listen to my inner voice
and do what brought me joy and passion (quitting my job and starting
my own company to inspire and add value to people's lives). Because
I became "comfortable" making money from job I had,
I was caught in a values clash - money or freedom? (and
all the goal setting in the world wouldn't have solved the issue).
So I learned the hard way... and it took me over 3 years to struggle
and finally let go of having the "big money". When
I decided to let go of my goals and follow my Dreams, my energy
aligned in ways I could not have imagined. My company, Dreams
Alive took off like a rocket and has been growing ever since.
Note: I ddn't set any goals - I just
followed my passions and took time each day to listen to my intuituion
- it guided me to take the right steps. All I did was listen
and trust it.
How To Reach Your Personal Goals
Your Personal Goals have power
to help clarify your life purpose and provide meaning in your
life. One word of caution -make sure you tune into your Heart
and ask "Does this goal support me and my own personal
growth? or will it cause me to lose touch with my purpose and
who I really am?"
Alternatives to Goal Setting - Better ways of setting Goals
Here are some alternatives to goal setting (and relying
too much on the analytical left brain). Each of these activities
help inspire your Heart, reduce stress and create a feeling of
well being. Extensive research shows that any of these activities
increase the levels of Endorphins (positive chemicals
in your brain and body) while decreasing stress related toxic
chemicals such as cortisol (killer of brain cells), insulin,
- Dream Scaping
- Connecting with your Spirit
- Sitting in Nature and letting
Nature inspire you
- Using tools such as Dream-Minder,
You now understand that setting
goals isn't the answer...
The key to being truly happy and fulfilled in your life
is to stay connected with your Spirit, nourish your Dreams and
contribute your Life Purpose to the world.
To Your Dreams And To Your Abundance,
Discover your abundance today
here to discover how to uncover your
passions and Life's Dreams
on the myth of self
improvement, click here
Goal Setting Resources
Goal Setting 101