"Are You Striving Or Thriving?"
So what can we do about this striving vs thriving syndrome?
First, Let's look more closely at what the "pop-culture"
is saying these days...
Here is a summary of some of the nice sounding ideas that seem
to make such good common sense because they have evolved as a
part of the accepted nonsense we now consider the normal way
to live, love and work.
Seek life balance
Your personal power is unlimited
Practice good time management
Don't be a 'workaholic'
Time is money
Have a mission statement and stick with it
Visualizing your goals will help them come true
Saying self-affirmations will raise your self-esteem
Quality time is more important than quantity of time
If you feel pressured, just cut back
If you work hard enough, you can have it all
It can be so if you will it so
These are myths of success based on four major fallacies:
Wrong key to success: Seek life balance.
Right key: Balance is impossible. Relish life's natural
Wrong key to success: Use your personal power to be all
you can be.
Right key: Live from who you are
Wrong key to success: Don't be a workaholic.
Right key: Love as intensely as you work.
Wrong key to success: Always be optimistic, be upbeat, and
use the power of positive thinking.
Right key: All emotions are essential and life affirming.
"And we saw that there is more than one kind of success:
a healthy success and an unhealthy successa success that
is toxic. There is a kind that makes your life better
and the kind that robs your life of its energy. There
is a kind that draws you together with your family and friends
and the kind that takes you away from them; a kind that
devastates your health and the kind that enhances your
health; a kind that makes every day just a joy to live
and the kind that makes it such a hassle that you have to struggle
to find time to add any joy to your life.
So why do we do allow this Toxic Success to continue?
Money issues? Thinking we're not good enough? Trying to get that
raise or that promotion? Striving for acceptance from bosses,
parents, friends, or your own inner critic?
Or is it just not taking time to just stop, breathe and
really allow ourselves to reconnect?
Vernon Howard calls this condition where we allow circumstances
and stress to determine our reactions and how we live our life
"Psychic Sleep". Psychic Sleep occurs when we're not
fully aware of what we're doing or why we're even doing it.
A good friend of mine named Mitch that I went to college with
puts it this way:
"Paul, we've allowed ourselves
to be brainwashed. I was led to believe that you go to
college, work hard, get good grades, graduate, get a great job,
get married, have kids, and like the fairy tale says that we've
been force fed, "you'll live happily ever after"."
"It's all a lie - an illusion that we've bought into.
If I had it to do all over again, I'd look at my choices a lot
more closely and maybe not make the same choices again..."
Mitch almost had tears in his eyes because the fairy tale had
almost become a prison for him. His passion was missing, that
sparkle in his eyes was replaced with sorrow. My heart ached
for him. I told him I understood how he felt and that his Heart
would guide him through this challenge in his life.
So what can we do to let go of Toxic Success?
Dr. Pearsall recommends:
1. Never just get up in the morning
"Thoreau wrote something like "The first thing I do
in the morning when I awaken is I take time to wake up."
What he meant is, that first moment in the morning sets the tone
of your mind and heart and consciousness immediately. So the
first thing to do when you wake up is to not get up. Lie there.
Breathe. I died of cancer 12 years ago. I had three deaths from
it. I had a bone marrow transplant. I was on a resuscitator.
I was intubated. When they took that tube out and I took a breath
on my own, I should have died. I never take the nature of breathing
"No. Once you lose that it's true, you never take it for
"When I get up in the morning, my first thought is that
I can breathe myself. The one thing about human beings is that
we have the ability to place our attention. Animals are very
reflexive. But you and I can put in our minds what we want there
in our consciousness. But for many people, when they wake up
their first thought is "What do I have to do? Where do I
have to go? Where are the kids? Gotta get breakfast, gotta go!
Where is the car? I gotta call this person."
I am saying the most important moment is when you wake up.
So that is one suggestion.
Second: Now this is going to take some time. These people
who are so toxic sometimes, they say that they don't know if
they have the time. Well they do. The issue isn't time; the issue
is attention. And you just take a minute in the morning,
afternoon, and late afternoon at work to do something that's
very radical . . ."
Right. And boy is that difficult. I didn't say meditate,
although meditation is a great thing. Everybody knows about that
already. I am saying just do nothing. Sit. For a minute. And
let your brain do whatever it wants to do. The brain is not going
to want this because the brain has lost its mind. The brain is
going to say, "Get busy, make a call, check your e-mail,
don't just sit here, what are you doing?" because the brain
is in a lethal alliance with our body. And it is driving it to
What we have acclimated to is dangerous. Let the body
quiet down. Just do nothing. When you go to Japan, if a worker
is sitting at their desk staring away, no one interrupts because
they assume that person is very busy. Thats also true in
Hawaii; that's Hawaiian. If someone is just doing
nothing, never interrupt them. Only interrupt people when they
are busy. Look at the Western way.
I know these sound like silly things to do, but just try it and
let your brain go where it wants and just laugh at your brain.
Sit back as if you're watching a child just act stupid. And if
you just observe your brain, your heart will see
that it's nice just to quiet down.
A third recommendation is this:
We have found that with Toxic Success one of the most calming
effects is to be content, calm down and connectdon't forget
to connect. It's very important with a friend, a brother, a wife,
a spouse, an associate, during the day to have some time to sit
with some person and not talk about work, and not talk about
success, and not answer e-mail, and do not attempt multi-tasking.
There should be signs everywhere, "Multitasking is hazardous
to your health!"
This may cause some controversy. When I was dying of cancer,
and people knew I'd written 15 books on all these types of things
and some said, "Why did you get cancer? You have this perfect
attitude, you didn't smoke, you didn't drink, you practiced aloha,
you do all these things." The "positive attitude movement"
has really caused a misunderstanding of this whole process.
"That you're guilty
if something goes wrong?"
Yes, and its very dangerous,
very dangerous. So when you asked about attitude and everything,
when I was dying of cancer, I had a miserable attitude. I was
a pain in what the Hawaiians call the okole.
Pearsall suggest this simple way of thinking...
"So I say ask three questions:
Am I loving fully? Am I letting go completely?
And am I living totally?
Dr. Pearsalls book, Toxic
a wake up call for your Spirit and for
If we allowed ourselves to just be present and wake up
to each day asking these simple questions, our lives will be
simpler and we'll feel the way we truly deserve to feel...
And So It Is...
Do you long for inner peace and want to let go of the day to
day stress that blocks you from living your ideal life?
will help you get up in the morning with that "joie de vivre"
(joy of life) as the French call it. Remember the energy you
had when you were a child? Dream-Minder helps you re-kindle that
youthful Spirit within you in both your personal and professional
Let's listen to Bernie Woods from England share how
has helped her...
"Paul, I want to tell
you what Dream minder does for me. When I first put in the software
and being a total newcomer to computers, I really didn't know
what to expect.The dream guide started, I found the maximize
button and turned up the volume and just stopped , getting present
to the beautiful images and ambient music of the opening sequence.
I felt as though something important was happening as the software
guided me through a self evaluation.
I started to listen to my own
thoughts and dreams and hopes and I felt tears come into my eyes
at the beauty of my heart opening and coming home to my Self.
You have created something so magical Paul, that can be so powerful
that it moved me to tears.
I saw how I've forgotten parts
of myself and given up on what I'd really love in life. I felt
both sad at how I've limited myself and excited at getting real
and seeing what's possible.Your software can create Miracles
in peoples lives and I'm sure it does!
I use Dream minder everyday
now and Dream guide weekly and whenever I take the time to really
focus on the programme, I access this special feeling again.
It's completely amazing!
Woods - London, England
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